When the Shift gets personal

Guys, I’m floating upwards. Without drugs. High on Life.

Quite literally; the shift*, or a shift, is upon me and I need to shift with it. Feeling buoyant, so light it feels like floating upwards, but then the movement slowed down and stopped. I was weighed down by some old things and ideas, both of which I’m now quite rigorously parting with.
This is a very visual experience, with my inner eye I see strings coming from my hands and feet, and all that old stuff hanging there, holding me down. The action of clearing is like cutting through the strings with scissors.
So I’m sorting through my things and thoughts, tossing everything that doesn’t feel right. A lot goes, cut-cut-cut, creating space, light and more buoyancy.

As if opening the shutters on a bright sunny morning, I’m staring into the bright, light space and not really seeing much. But it feels very, very good – expansive. I’m floating.
It’ll take some time to acclimatize. Will you join me in this space?

This coming Sunday I’m organizing “The Gathering“, a meeting to really get together and talk about things that deeply matter.
A sub-theme is the ripening of seeds and harvesting them for the coming season. I will bring some with me, if you have fresh seeds to spare, bring them along to share!
If you can’t come, consider arranging your own Gathering! Read more about it here.


*the what?! the shift, ascension, awakening… All these words point towards an other way of being.

Instead of living from the old paradigm many of us were indoctrinated with -that we should work so very hard, earn our living (<- ! ), do what we’re told and fit in – I (and many others, I didn’t invent this stuff) suggest that each and every one of us stop to re-consider and think for them selves about what truly inspires you and feels good to you and heals our world. We’re creative beings! We’re loving beings. We enjoy community, and the energy of Love. So Shift! Attract a new life! Awaken! Become totally free!

PS. I didn’t know about Wayne Dyers’ film Shift before I had written the rough draft for this blog post and started researching the internet for suitable “further study”-links. After watching the movie last night, I’ve included the link above.




Passion, inspiration and joy

What brings you joy? So much that, at the thought of it, your heart makes a little leap of joy and you can’t wait to begin?
Here’s my passionate, almost pressing advice: follow your joy, that interest that tickles you so deliciously. It will lead to true value and profit – it will bring you real happiness, meaningful connections and lasting value.
As you’re happily skipping along the road of your inspiration, you’ll meet others who share your special kind of craziness. Cherish them, they are your tribe.

Seeds and plants bring joy to me – well hello there, friends! Yes, I’m the crazy plant lady with a garden crammed full with plants in the ground, in pots, in the air and as seeds, overflowing my storage boxes for them. I invest in plants.
This plant-lover of yours here is a hermit, but I can enjoy an understanding remark like this for days on end: on the plant market at the local botanical gardens someone answered to my question about a *special plant* that it can not survive the local winter. “I’ll have to wait until I’ve saved up a greenhouse” I said. “Or keep it in your house in the winter” he said and there was a suspended silence as we grinned and looked into each others eyes and then burst out in laughter exclaiming together: “it’s already full!”

When we moved here ten years ago, I dived head-on into gardening. As a complete beginner, I watched in awe the poppies and tomatoes taking over my little plot of land in the first season. Seeds germinated and grew into these fantastic beings!

Since then I’ve changed my mind about “what my garden is about” a gazillion times. Every time I turn my idea around, I’m honing it, from “aesthetic” via “edible” and “healing” to “beeplants”. Currently it is all four of these.

There is a deeper meaning to this play.
Your passion contributes to a bigger picture.
There is a social, spiritual and/or ecological aspect to it that helps our world evolve.
Can you see your “hobby” as a seriously meaningful practice of healing this dear world of ours with your special flavour of passion?
What if you’d bow in respect to your joyful Heart and commit to your happiness? Make your inspired practice your path = fulfillment and happiness.

Plants are a promise of a greener future, in every sense of the words. I allow myself to get carried away with new ideas, as long as I tend to old acquintances. I’m a novice and an old soul master at the same time, depending on the depth of connection I have with what I’m doing. Time loses its meaning, seasons mark the rhythm of life. I’m gratefully raveling the beauty of green shapes and colourful flowers, the sweet and strange scents and tastes, and marveling the shapes of seeds and how they’re packed by nature. I do my best in “paying back” by tending the gardens, loving individual plants with my warm breath and keeping an eye on the wellbeing of these green companions.

The knowledge and finetuning I acquire in the garden seep through into other areas in my life. Into the kitchen, where flavour, texture and colour bring nourishment and satisfaction to our bodies. Into the Gatherings – I love a deep, meaningful conversation with another, reflecting on our uniqueness and sameness as Souls on Earth at the same time. Onto the massage table, where pressure, touch, warm scented oil and skin – so many kinds of skin and bodies! – speak the language of chi, life force flowing through our world.

What is your passion?

Thank you, Mia, for pressing the “launch” button of this thought-rocket, and for Grytsje for laying the table for play.

Some seeds, bulbs and dried herbs are now available!





Ayahuasca and Bees – a lot of silence and gratitude to share

How does one write a blog post when there are no words to describe this?
(Then don’t. Be quiet.) But I can’t, my Heart wants to share so that others might catch the flame as well.
I’ll try it in small bite-size bits.



It is about five years ago I heard about this Plant Spirit for the first time. Since then it has been circling around my attention and interest, slowly getting closer. A year ago I almost went for it, but not quite. This year, after a shamanic ceremony a short time ago, suddenly the time was ripe.

I prepared myself for the encounter for weeks, dropping alcohol and coffee early on. The last ten days I was eating a bland diet, which I thought would be extremely boring, but it actually proved to be interestingly tastebud-enhancing. I was so still, empty and ready as I could be.

The setting was warm, welcoming and supporting, and I felt very privileged to being in the situation of the whole experience. It was a private ceremony, with two wonderful people to watch over me.
(You can find them here)

I expected to be grabbed for a wild rollercoaster ride with important lessons and messages to take to Heart. Can you imagine my surprise (and that of the organizers) when, after having ingested quite a lot of this mighty plant ally, I looked my mentors in the eyes and said “it’s quite subtle”. As if expecting to go to a heavy rock concert that would last the whole night, but instead, getting four teachings whispered softly in your ear, with long silences between each one. Beautiful teachings. Empowering, affirming, magically wonderful teachings, but oh so very softly that I had to keep my focus on them, laser sharp and steady as a rock or I’d snap out of it.

Expectation vs. reality. I love the quirky nature of Nature, it absolutely cracks me up 😀
But even though the experience was so fine and subtle (exquisite!), it kind of simmers on… And although I immediately ‘got was I was there for’ (to get ‘clean’ and ‘to stand in my Power’) the re-set is still materializing as I’m writing this, still simmering on, as if it would be rippling through time and space, endlessly, solidifying…this, the experience and the knowing. See? Words are failing me here.

And to you, dear reader, I want to say: Thank you for reading this far. Follow your joy, your inspiration, your happiness. What ever you do, do it from this perspective of your own pure Soul joy, and it will form your Life to according to your specific perspective, slant, angle, niche… And the elements within that ecosystem of your joyous Life will fit together seamlessly and function beautifully in a symbiotic manner, creating and abundance of good and healthy Life, to you and your loved ones, and for the Planet, all by itself.

All you need to do is to get clean, clear and choose with your Heart. Your Heart is the ruler, your Mind the servant. Life provides you – with all the lessons, tools, allies and materials you need. Trust. Love. And have fun!



“When the bee guardian is ready, the bees will come” – that’s approximately how the words of my (biodynamic) beekeeper-mentor would translate to English, when I was asking his opinion on buying bees.

I’ve got my top bar hive in place for a little over two years now, waiting for an eager swarm to find it. And finally, we called a local beekeeper and agreed on a date when he’d come with a bee colony for my hive.

The day before the agreed date, our dear neighbor came half-running of excitement to our door “Nina, there’s a swarm in our garden!”. I dropped everything and hurried behind him to the spot. And indeed, in the middle of the garden, in a small tree or a large bush, at a very convenient working level, a swarm was gathering together.

To cut a long story short, these were the sweetest, most patient and forgiving bees. It took me four attempts to catch the cluster with the queen (and keeping her), but catching and eventually transferring the swarm from our neighbors’ garden to my hive was a success, and now they are settled and I adore them. There is absolutely no fear, no tension, just a blissful being-ness when I spend time with them. Pure joy of living, unconditional Love and a strong sense of belonging emanate from the bees and I’m so incredibly grateful to be allowed to offer a home to them.

The catch: no matter how long it takes, it’s so worth the wait. Have faith, have patience. When the time is right, it will come – and it’ll be sweet.

Post Scriptum

Life is in a fast-forward mode now. After all that winter sleeping time has kind of erased itself out of my experience (what a relief!) and things are rapidly rushing into manifestation. What a joy! What a relief!
I have no idea if this blissful state will continue or not, we shall see.

I’m sharing this because perhaps you are experiencing some mind-bending changes in your Life patterns, manifestations and reality. As always, check in with your Soul, it will know. Make your decisions with your Heart. Use your Mind as a tool, but don’t listen to it too much 🙂 Meditate more. Love.

Be well.



The alchemy of duality

(Part two of …balancing of two)

We often experience Life through the lens of duality. We either like or dislike things. We find something attractive or not. Tasty or unappetizing. Simple, daily stuff.

But then; we want to hold on or change something, like, now. We love passionately, yet are attracted to our freedom. We’re attached to a certain image of ourselves, and get hurt when others challenge it. Pleasure/pain, joy/sorrow, excitement/bleak boredom. Duality 2.0 .

You can use the dis-ease to identify that what is troubling you (before it energetically works on your body and becomes a disease).

A universal fact is that everything changes. Life flows like water in the river of our lives, and trying to freeze a beautiful moment because we want to hold on to it is as foolish as it is frustrating.
If you can find the calm and peace to just observe that what is, you can begin to see the (apparent) reality for what it is, without mental judgement or upsetting emotion. In fact, all that matters is here, in the present moment.

From this calm place of just being and observing you might choose to start exploring your restlessness again. What caused you discomfort? When? And most importantly, why?

Universal fact number two: you can’t change anything else but yourself (without being violent). Let’s pretend I’m out in the forest and sit down without first checking where I’m sitting, and land my butt on an ant colony. Uncomfortable. Now if I’d be shouting at the Universe that someone had better move that ant colony since I’m in discomfort…? So again, observing and acting accordingly are the way to go.

But sometimes everything is just too much and we feel pain and discomfort and are too tired and/or emotional to act (wisely).

Here’s a little clue from Eckhart Tolle: pain is an alarm clock in order to awaken you.

Something needs to change. It could be your perception (of the situation, its nature and/or yourself), a call to action (stand up from the ant colony!), a small adjustment or a total game changer. Enter: the alchemy of duality.

When you stop fighting pain or discomfort and allow it to enlighten you, you have the potent, active power to change the idea, situation, viewpoint, outcome and your feeling about it. Talk about some powerful alchemy!

I encourage you to playfully investigate the challenges that Life throws at you. It’s all for the good of your evolution and thus for the evolution of the Planet. Let’s play!





Spring equinox, Ostara – and the balancing of two

The equinoxes – spring and autumn – mark the two days in a year when night and day are equally long. For a moment there is balance and then in spring-time the Light, growth and life take over and it all becomes one ecstatic outburst of life energy again.

Ostara is the pagan/wicca name for this festive day, when the Sun overcomes the cold winter and blesses the Earth with flowers and life. It is a feast of fertility, sowing seeds, and new beginnings.

Within this day also lays a deep philosophical-spiritual seed. For one day, the duality of light and dark is in balance. When I think about light and dark, the taoist symbol of yin and yang springs into mind, with its white droplet and black droplet swirling around each other, both containing a point of the other within them.

Yin stands for dark (shadow, night), feminine, mysterious, passive, soft, flexible and horizontal – yang for light, masculine, logical, active, hard, rigid and vertical.
These dualistic qualities catch my attention because they are manifesting everywhere, as aspects of Spirit, or One.

You can play this observing-game with what you find around you. Shall I show you how?
I’m in a female body but my soul is somewhat masculine…analytic, yet intuitive. I love the Sun, but will not shy away from looking into the shadows.
There’s a tension between a culturally learned passive, bending, waiting quality in me, and my own natural tendency to instantly jump on things that grab my attention.

You can go on and contemplate on yin and yang in you, your life and your surroundings for days on end. Please do! It’s more constructive than watching TV 🙂
But. That is not the point. The point is to see that the yin-yang is a full circle. It is complete, containing the two, both containing each other.

If you see and appreciate that everything in Life is an expression of life, something you’ve attracted into your field of experience in order to learn – and if you allow it to flow through your being as such, as an experience you learn from (…I’m going to follow my natural tendency and jump into conclusions here ) then, if you’re not fighting against that what life brings you, nor trying to grab it and pin it down – in that case Life will be rich, natural, meaningful, easier and in flow.

Just in case you think I’m advocating passive surrender to painful things, here’s a little sneak-peek: next weeks’ blog will be about the alchemy of duality.

Happy new beginnings!



Choices – a 5-step action plan

choices - a 5-step action plan
walk on or sit down? bask in the sun or explore the shadows? curious about what’s around that bend in the path…or is this how far you dared to come this time?

It is election day here in the Netherlands. I’m following the events with a keen eye.

After a rain of words and opinions, an impression lingers. But what strikes me, is that it is the political person him or her self, who alters that impression in a split second – strengthening it in alignment, or wiping it out in its hollowness.

It all boils down to integrity. Are they playing the Big Puppetgame, wearing masks and playing out roles, or really following their inner Truth, going for it, putting themselves out there for a future they’ve envisioned?

This game of vision, integrity and action also plays out in our own lives.
It’s much easier to daydream the ultimate, perfect stance and lifestyle than live it when the going gets rough.
There are expectations – from the society, spouse and parents (in no particular order here), and our wish to meet those expectations in order to fit in, support others and fulfill those decades of support and expectation.
And then there’s our own grand vision, inner Truth, the Soul path nudging at the sleeve, inviting into an adventure to the great unknown.

What to do?

  1. Take your time, don’t rush it. Fear is a bad advisor. Panic is fear. Haste is fear. Wait until the tension/urge relaxes, breathe in it. Ride out the wave. When you’re relaxed you can see, hear and act wisely.
  2. Step out of the tunnel vision. Things on this Planet are never black or white, but an abundant palette of millions of hues, tastes and variations.
  3. Drop the ego, pride, stubbornness. You know what counts? Contribution, interconnections, love.
  4. Listen to your gut and to your heart. Pay careful attention to the limits they give – for they know.
  5. Be courageous. When you think the direction you’re headed at is right, go for it. With an open mind, vision and heart.

Bon voyage!

Interested in a guided journey on your Soul path? Take a look at the Soul path online program, coming out later this spring!

choices - 5 step action plan





Tiny things matter


In this time of global restlessness and personal insecurities and/or perspective shifts, I’d like to share some words of re-assurance: you’re not alone. You’re not the only one feeling it.

If you’re at all in flow, aligned with the energies of this Planet of ours, you’re going through a major shift, together with Gaia. It’s like she – Gaia, our home planet – is one gigantic living organism, and we, humans, are smaller organisms on Gaia. A bit like the bacteria in our own gut, and we’re somewhat rampant at the moment, causing an inflamed condition to Gaia…

Herbalism strives for balance. We, collectively, need some medicine that will calm us down, bring us into equilibrium with our ecological home. I’d like to prescribe meditation and introspection.

Doubt the old dogmas, question the ways society has been organized in the recent past.

To catalyze this shift, you might play the following alchemical game: testing the elements of society with the scales of your Heart. How do you feel about authority? Hierarchy? School? The way the care for our children and elders is organized at the moment? Food industry? The use of pesticides? Plastic? The condition of our oceans? The burning of rain forests?

I can get raving mad when I notice that utterly insane practices are seen as ‘normal’.
And, like many I guess, I want to do something about it. I want to fix it, right now.

I wanted to start a revolution. Throw over ‘the system’, replace the dysfunctional pieces with organic, loving solutions and sing a high pitched angelic tune while at it.
But I didn’t know where to start and nearly imploded of frustration (as an introvert I can come over as a calm person, but the people close to me know there’s a volcano in me, more or less dormant).

And then I realized the following: Like a seed has the blueprint of a fully grown tree or other plant in it, so do you: trust your inner knowing to take the first step, then the next, then the next, and grow into your fuller Life.

So that’s what I’m doing: re-organizing my life to better match the changed values and view points, one thing at a time. Taking the irritation and (emotional) pain as signs of faulty structures, following Love and happiness (hippie lingo, I know) as the direction givers, like the Sun is for a plant.

My ‘fetching the future into the here and now‘ method seems to be working. The tiniest details amount to a new reality. Where I previously considered that the possibility of nature spirits and ‘talking with animalsmight happen, these long-forgotten realities are now a fact to me. Old insecurities dissolve, inner knowing and trust in my own compass become the new default mode.


PS. If you wondered what those tiniest seedlings are, they’re Campanula rapunculus, a new plant friend to me, hopefully gently swaying in the summer breeze in my garden this coming season.






Distraction (fetching the future into here&now)


To say that I easily get distracted is an understatement.
There are many things that I’m interested in and, although internet is a blessing (a limitless source of information) it is also a curse (again, a limitless source of information).

Back on track: distraction. It can also be positive, nourishing and good for you. Why?
Because what distracts you, interests you.
If you can see the coherent pattern of your distractions, you have a key in your hand to unlock something your subconscious has been trying to tell you for some time now.

My distractions were things that would fit under the title: “Homesteading on a small farm” (fermenting, cheese making, hand spinning, natural dyes…I know, so sexy).
I’m hoping, wishing and dreaming that my current distraction will become reality some day…but I was getting slightly frustrated about getting distracted with stuff that might possibly happen in the future, while I needed to focus on things at hand here and now.

With stubborn animals like myself, one needs to proceed creatively. I figured out that certain themes of interest could very well be tried and tested out in the here and now, and got to it.
Now the kitchen is in full swing and my working desk is an overflown mess of crafty stuff and my soul is so happy.

I can finally concentrate and focus on the tasks at hand, and try out my ‘future homesteading skills’ in the evenings and all kinds of pause moments.

So hereby I recommend to all distracted procrastinates: fetch your future dreams and past laments into the here and now, do them = get them out of your system and be happy.

End of preach.








First stirrings


I was going to publish a follow-up on my previous post (Our food), but then this little friend, the snowdrop, reminded me about something that is happening right here and now: the awakening.

While the media pours in absurd news, I put on my coat and shoes and go for a long walk in nature. It is a sunny day, the frost is thawing and…there’s a very slight aroma of sweet, warming-up soil in the air. I see tiny rosettes of new growth on the ground and as I return home, I find tiny snowdrops emerging all over my garden. Imbolc!

Imbolc is the name of this seasonal holy day of the ancients, marking the time on the wheel of the year when new life begins to stir after a long winter sleep. The first lambs are born around this time, snow drops and Hamamelis blossom and the sweet scent of warming-up soil can be traced in the air on sunny days.
Imbolc is on 1st of February (some sources say 31st January – 2nd February), but I’d rather apply it to a day like last Sunday, the first day of the year when you notice that the deepest winter is behind our back.

The days are slowly growing longer, the birds know something has changed – their song has a cheerful enthusiasm to it.

For us gardeners it is the “Go!”-sign, the peppers and aubergines can be sown indoors, first cold-tolerant greens may start their growth outside (under the protection of glass).

My bear-like personality quickens from her winter sleep and I find my interest tickled by indoors-things to try out. Sowing new plant-friends to greet of course, but also new kitchen experiments: kimchi, kefir and – soon – natural cheese making. And should you hear angry Finnish swearing from this direction, it’ll be me, finding out that hand-spinning wool wasn’t as easy as I had imagined.

What’s going on?!

Well, after tending for flu-felled family members for a few weeks, my immune system got temporarily weakened by the combination of tiredness and bad news from the World and friends. I spent four days in bed, first with fever, sleeping a lot, then with a pounding headache that wouldn’t let me read (my favourite opportunity to read books is when I’m ill) so I lay there, thinking. I guess there are many others with the same question on their mind: what can I do to save the world?

Here’s my personal conclusion, brewed in 48hours of contemplation.

–  Follow you Heart, always. Discern opinions, actions and words through your Heart.

–  Fill your well. You can’t give if your energy sources are empty. You can’t give if your emotional sources are empty. And you can’t give if your creativity sources are empty. So feed your energy, passion, love, inspiration and
gratitude. Count your blessings, take care of your self and your direct surroundings. This is essential preparation.

–  If you’re a dweller-in-the-past do some healing work and forgive. Forgive others, forgive yourself. Cherish the beautiful times like eternal diamonds. Keep your memories as precious souvenirs but live in the here and now, this is where Life happens.

–  Bring the future to the here and now: what is your greatest daydream? What does your Heart yearn for? Even if the time is not ripe to live all of that daydream now, you can have little nibbles at it! Find out what you can do NOW that makes your Heart sing with joy, and do that.

–  There is enough. There is probably even too much. Be watchful of silly thoughts of smallness, neediness and such. Again, check: count your blessings. Do some Kondo-tidying and you’ll be amazed at the bulk of your belongings… Share. Trade. Love.


The very first stirrings of a new growing season. Make it a good one, an exceptional one, the one where you didn’t hold anything back but went for all of it, giving it your best, most sincere and mindful attention-awareness.


Oh, and “Our food – part 2” will be here next week!